Previous Update: Aeaea
by CupcakeTrap, Junpei Tenmyouji, and Wexiomatic
From the second round of island explorations.
Argyre is a mountainous, snowy island not unlike the Freljord. Legends tell of small furry inhabitants who sound suspiciously like yordles, as well as a great artifact, “Lanpoa”, which sounds an awful lot like the Mothership. Bandle City recently succeeded in restoring their Mothership to full operation; perhaps something similar could be done here.
Argyre is, as expected, home to some kind of yordle civilization. The Freljord’s Summoners also sense the presence of True Ice.
The Yordles of Argyre Edit
The Freljord’s scouts report back from their initial expedition to the snowy crags of Argyre, located to the east of Nyroth. The scouting party almost immediately encountered bands of yordles taking shelter near the coast. These yordles have Gnar’s “prehistoric” appearance, with large tusks and additional fluffiness that makes them especially resistant to the cold. Translation hexes render their speech intelligible, if a bit odd. The leaders of these yordles explained that they had been driven out from their homes by their “cursed” kin.
The scouts add that the yordles initially hurled sticks and snowballs at the automata accompanying the Freljord. A fight nearly broke out, but a priestly yordle came rushing out to stop them. He apparently convinced them to back down by referencing the ancient “Clank-Clanks”, figures from their oldest legends. The other yordles appeared satisfied by this explanation, and ceased hostilities.
The scouts have gathered the following information about the yordles here. It seems that they have been here since before the cataclysm. Their society is built around “Lanpoa”, which sounds very much like a smaller Mothership, and which they similarly revere. The yordles say that the ways of the mainland Nyrothians angered great Lanpoa, who then rained destruction down on them as punishment for their wickedness. Ever since that dark day, Lanpoa has been more distant even to the yordles, though it generously provides them with food (mostly fruit pies), warmth, music, and knowledge. There is no true war among the yordles, or at least until recently there was not; instead, they would engage in mock non-lethal combat, with the strongest tribes being allowed to take up residence closest to Lanpoa’s warmth and bounty. They have rotated in this fashion for some time, favoring the fiercest and strongest among them. But the most powerful tribe, the Nuubahks, recently began winning almost all of these mock wars; they have held control over Lanpoa for over three years, an unprecedented (and much resented) span. The yordles tell the Freljord’s emissaries that Lanpoa has been much aggrieved by the avarice and arrogance of these Nuubahks, and has laid upon them a curse in accordance with their crimes. This curse, placed upon them about a month ago, has utterly transformed them. (The scouts declined to mention that this timeline coincides with their arrival.)
The yordles led the scouts to see this “transformation” for themselves. The scouts say that the yordles surrounding Lanpoa—which does indeed seem to be a smaller Mothership—have become enormous hulking brutes, like Gnar’s “rage” form. They glimpse a truly horrifying sight: smaller yordles splattered into bloody smears of fur and gore on the rocks surrounding the Mothership, clearly victims of these monstrous yordles’ aggression. Clearly, these Nuubahks have rejected the play-wrestling and non-lethal scrapping of the yordles. The smaller yordles report that the Nuubahks are not mindless brutes, but have become even more greedy and unreasonable since their transformation: they call their fellow yordles enemies, and loudly swear that they will protect Lanpoa from their wicked ways.
The yordles have asked for the Freljord’s help in retaking Lanpoa. With evident sorrow, the chiefs state that their fallen, sinful kinfolk the Nuubahk have corrupted their yordlish hearts with their insatiable greed, and there is likely no bargaining with them now. They must enforce the ultimate sanction upon them, for no kinder alternative will suffice: the mutated, monstrous Nuubahk must be placed on Time Out.
The True Ice Edit
The Freljord’s Summoners sense large quantities of True Ice in another part of Argyre, away from Lanpoa. They could, instead of assisting the yordles at this time, go in search of that True Ice. (The yordles could then either continue living in the outskirts, or perhaps request transport to the mainland. In other words: pursuing the True Ice would not be all that callous, though obviously the nice-guy option would be to help them first.) Scouts report discovering immense ice caves, presumably with True Ice within; based upon what is known about elemental magic, there are surely thaumavorous monsters nearby. (There’ll be a fight.)
Braum’s charm, and the ample provision of snacks, soon won over the frightened yordles hiding in the coastal snowdrifts. Together, they traveled over the rocky paths leading to Lanpoa, Braum leading the way with a yordle guide perched on his shoulder to direct him.
Three days of marching brought them to an icy crater bounded by high walls of rock. In the center stood “Lanpoa”, a strange relic with marked similarities to the larger Bandle City Mothership. The Frostguard Summoners sensed the presence of a nexus deep in the rock, almost directly below Lanpoa. Enormous yordles resembling Gnar in his rage-gene-induced state caught scent of the intruders, and their roars shook the cavernous walls. A Summoner who stepped forward and began attempting to communicate with them would have been pulverized by the boulder hurled in reply had Braum not leaped in front with his unbreakable shield raised.
The Nuubahk yordles would not yield, nor would the Freljord. Battle was met. A Nuubahk Champion, Thwock-Thwock, smashed the Monsku automata to pieces with one swipe of his claw. Even as the other Nuubahks were chased away, Thwock-Thwock stood and fought, until Braum wrestled him to the ground. He was then tied up and sentenced to Time-Out With Juicebox, a most harsh punishment as yordles figure such things. (Some of the Freljordians sought to inflict a more severe punishment, but Braum held them back, declaring that this was a matter for the yordles.)
Though the Freljord’s Summoners were unable to repair Lanpoa, they did gather the impression that this Mothership-like entity had (for some reason) caused the mutation in the Nuubahks, as the mini-yordles had said. They offered to establish a camp by the coasts, a safe distance from Lanpoa, while their scholars investigated further, but the mini-yordles were very insistent on claiming their rightful place beside Lanpoa. (They explained, quite patiently, that Lanpoa was angry at the Nuubahks, not them; the curse had surely been lifted.)
The grateful yordles shared an enormous cache of “shinies” with the Freljord, after discovering that the humans found them even more precious. The brilliant gemstones would fetch a princely sum in Valoran’s markets. Altogether, the jewels would pay for enough imported Demacian grain to feed all of the Freljord for a year, with enough still left over to implement the civic improvements planned by Ashe. Mixed in with the gems were several shards of ultra-purified True Ice, likely refined by their long proximity to the nexus; with Ashe’s consent, Lissandra took these for study.
Next Update: Korag